Worship

This is a topic of much debate and healthy concern, and it is my desire that we come to a better understanding of what this means for God’s people.  It is our nature to worship; we are made to worship, yet our affections are easily enteratined by erasat renditions or veneers of worship.  Nate preached on Romans 6 tonight showing how Paul and ouselves are prone to this battle between sin and righteouness. He calls us to present ourselves as a slave of righteouness rather than a slave to sin. Paul boldly declares our status before God because of our identity in Christ. Where sin increases grace abounds all the more.

At Kaleo we have gone through some changes as some leaders have left, thus leaving a vacuum to be filled. Our time of singing has undergone a transition because two talented musicians have left to pursue other intersts in the church. I have experience when I attended Grace Covenant Church. I’ve enjoyed the singing but I also realize that we are in a point of transition, needing to come together and prepare more earnestly for our time of singing praises to God.  Worship is more than just music sung to Him, but it is often a period of great reflection upon God’s Word. I also look forward to the sermon, for this I believe ought to be the central area of focus. Here we are exposed to The Gospel, equipped to grow in God’s grace and knowledge.

Because I am getting ready for seminary, i am also a bit scared about the process of writing and delivering a sermon. I am inexperiences in many ways but I pray that I seek this goal with humility and patience. Who am I Lord that I may proclaim Your Word?  I try to escape from this burning desire in my heart, but I also know that i am wicked, seeking my own agenda. The time has come to not be afraid and to look to Christ. I repent of my self-serving ways and the fear that puts walls between others and myself. The days are numbered yet I am here for a purpose, a calling to pursue with all my heart, soul  mind and strength.  To You O LOrd i commit my soul. Forgive me for my idolatrous heart. In You alone do I have a right standing before God.

Worship wars are often petty yet they need to be addressed with humility and truth. We are not here to entertain or play church.  Let us examine our hearts and look to Christ, that we may be imitators of God, growing in the likeness of His son.

The Call

I thank God for His effective call to make me His own, through the Holy Spirit’s conviction to awaken my heart to the glory of Christ and his sovereignty.  I look back almost eleven years when i attended PLNU to see a work in me that I couldn’t stop, and it scared me a bit because my sinful nature wanted to resist this call to follow Christ. This is where the distinction between external and internal call challenged my thinking yet points me to the Author and Perfector of my faith. Why did I say yes when so much of me wanted to run away.

Though I’ve always been a loner and very individualistic, I’ve had a sunny disposition towards others. yet I realize that i often use that nature to avoid conflict and to not create waves; the main reason behind it is to seek the approval of others. To a degree i did this with Wes Snow, who witnessed to me at PLNU. I felt trapped because I felt uncomfortable with his questions and how i responded to his initial attempt to spur on conversation with me.  I thank God for His pursuit of me and the means He used to bring me to Himself.

I’m still afraid now that I’m preparing for seminary and I quickly get distracted; the time is drawing near and I am not a disciplined person. O how I long for Christ and His presence in my life. I am not my own,  Ihave been bought with a price. It’s also been a while since I have been in school, and I don’t want to isolate myself as I study. I pray that I grow in God’s grace and stay faithful to His call. the time is near. May I look to Christ and His cross as i live; it is truly a gift.

Words

I am a logophile, a lover of words. Words have strong effects upon our souls and minds, and they are often stronger than we admit, especially from people we love or have respect towards. James addresses the issue of tghe tongue and how it is like the rutter of a ship. Though I’ve dabbled in the study of word origins, I struggle at times with a coherent, cogent, and effective display of those words I hold dear, seeking to use them abstemiously in a flow of conversation. Part of my problem has been a neglect in understanding my audience, taking a position of aloofness and cyncisim. Sometimes a word not spoken says more than a thousand words. I’m a relatively slow thinker yet I have a penchant to speak rapidly and tangentially, as if one synapse fires faster than another. The tongue is not easily tamed, whether one speaks fast or in a more deliberate fashion.

I pray that i i look towards seminary that I’d grow as a communicator of God’s Word. I remember in college I had a lit class. I tried to incorporate the words I learned in high school in the entrance examine.  One thing I

failed to mention is that I ignored the main critique of my professor: I didn’t take into consideration the audience. It became more important to propound and defend a particular use of vocabulary rather than to share a strain of thought. The end result was a paper filled with many red circles. I cringed each time i saw the sea of red on my essays and research papers. I also skimmed over the fact that I had many grammatical errors in my writing.  I need to be more diligent in study as i look to seminary. I am fearful in many ways, but I pray that God shows me the beauty of His Word as I share that with others.

Justification

I finished Piper’s book on justification yesterday, and I enjoyed how he presented the reformation view of sola Fide and the imputation of Christ’s righteouness to the believer.  Church language, like any area of focus, has its own jargon- words that express ideas and meaning about particular aspects of that field. One such word that has under gone great srcutuny is justification. N.T. Wright is one of the foremost New testament scholars advocating a new perspective on the Apostle Paul and his epistles.

Though I ‘ve had a penchant and curiosity about words and their meanings, I have had difficulty explaining the content of those words. I’m also praying that seminary equips me to adequately defend and uphold the gospel in all its glory. Ever since God drew me to Himself, I have gone through periods of growth in understanding the various doctrines surrounding Christianity.  Early on in my journal writings, I noticed a more Arminian understanding of faith. I didn’t even know then that that was a category of Christian thought, but I know that now.

What does it mean to be justified before God? How does that legal transaction take place? Piper does a wonderful job of ex positing the scriptures, especially in Romans, about this issue of justification.
Wright sees a different understanding of Judaism in light of a covenant of faithfulness. That is the thrust of his argumentation in regard to justification. The Roman Catholic view includes grace and an infusion of the meritorious works of Christ to be made right. It argues that works will show that one is made righteous. The classic reformation view declares that Christ’s righteousness is imputed to the believer. The merit is solely of grace and of the Lord. We add nothing to this work, and in Christ we are a new creature, called to life in response to His work and person.

I struggled a bit through the book, yet I appreciate piper’s bold statements and tender rebukes of Wright’s thesis. This is what i look forward to on the last day, and I pray that God has mercy upon me a sinner. Christ was brought low to be raised in glory, thus providing hope at the judgment seat of God. My righteousness is as filthy rags, and I have no hope except in Christ alone.

US Open-Torrey Pines

The US Open is here in my hometown and I had the privilege to attend yesterday with my father. This is an exciting time for San Diego and it is evident in the way the city has prepared for this event- a major championship. When i first arrived at the course i could tell immediately that many hours of preparation were put in to set up the corporate tents, the merchandise tents and pavilions, and the hospitality tents.

My dad and I got to see many golfers trying to negotiate the thick rough and fast greens. We also saw shots of brilliance and sighs of frustration as the pros wrestled with the demanding conditions of a major championship.  I’m also glad my dad and I got to go because I didn’t know if we were going to have a ticket available. I’ve been praying for him to receive Christ as Lord and Savior, and I pray that God so moves his heart of flesh to a heart of stone. I am at times very reticent to speak to him and others about Christ, and I pray for courage and strength to give a defense for the hope i have; it is not of my own doing- it is a gift of God, by grace alone through faith alone in the finished work of Christ alone.

Golf is a challenging sport that reveals a lot of idols in the heart. Golfers can get really obsessed with the score they shoot and base there attitude on how well they play. i speak about myself when i write this and look back on a long period of competitive experience. I pray that I’d play with an attitude that exhibits the fruit of the Spirit.

It’s amazing that the US Open is now here. i remember when the USGA announced the tournament site in 2000. Eight years later its here in our midst.

WSC Here I come

Soli Deo Gloria. I’m excited that I’ve been accepted to attend WSC  this fall. Now I’ll need to get my schedule so I can prepare for my work schedule as well. this is a great priveledge to enroll at a reformed seminary and to pursue God’s call. I pray that i seek the Author and Finisher of my faith and grow in His grace and knowledge.  I confess that I am scared about how this will work out but I am also grateful for this opportunity.

Seminary Prep

I am closer to attending seminary than i once was, and i lack one more reference to finish the process. I’m grateful for my friend’s recommendation and I am excited that i am moving in that direction. This is an amaing work of God in my heart and I pray that i am faithful to His call.

I have been an avid reader for 18 years, albeit my comprehension level has not been up to par, at least to a level that i can confidently reply about what i have just read. part of the problem comes from a lack of attention to what i am reading. I thank God for opening my eyes and heart to cherish and uphold His Word. I remember when I was in college a classmate told me to ask for help from the Holy Spirit to guide me through His Word.  I pray the same thing as I read in preparation to go to seminary at Westminster California. I get excited about the many books I long to read, hoping to gain a more working knowledge of the theological content I desire to grow in as I prepare.  I confess at times i enjoy buying books more than reading them; it’s the anticipatory joy that comes before buying the book and seeing it on my shelf. Or more appropriatley, scattered on my floor. I recognize that knowledge puffs up, and i pray that i have a humble approach when I study; that also includes time spent before Bible Study in our missional communities.

I’m a bit overwhelmed by this call and am scared about how it will equip me. I get like Moses and want to have Aaron take over because I have a thick tongue. Yet I trust that God will put His word in my mouth and strengthen me in this call.  Discipline is not one of my strengths and i easily loose focus. I also look forward to the structure of a school environment to grow in God’s grace and knowledge. This is not just an intellectual exercise and i don’t take lightly this calling. I pray that i’d be used in a mighty way and point people to Christ and His gospel. O what a wretched man I am. Who can save me from this body of death. Thanks be to Jesus Christ my Lord. He alone is my comfort and strength. Forgive me for turning to ersatz saviors, those tantalizing obessions that cloud my  thoughts and sight and transgress the holiness of God.

May this be a new chapter in serving God and His people.

Fellowship

This word in church language is often a secular view couched in a Christian veneer. It’s seems so easy to talk about various topics like a favorite sport or the waether, but when it comes to matters of faith, the conversation usually appears more strained and difficult. Why do I find it so hard to bring up issues of faith with the people I enjoy being around and even more challenging at times to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ. I confess that its easier to talk about work or golf comes much quicker to my tongue than the deep topics of faith I deem important to share with fellow believers and unbelievers alike. At work I had a chance to share with my co-worker Tim. I find that the more I speak, the easier it is to express how I feel. Even more relevant than that is the fact of God’s Word. It’s not just a set of rules to live by but a great story of redemption that shows Christ Jesus as the central figure, fulfilling prophecy and proclaiming the character of God in saving sinners.

Many times, due to the solemn mood I present God’s Word, I feel as though I put a damper on the conversation or turn a time of feasting into a time of dour reflection. My brother let me know the other day that I ought to speak what’s on my mind, using discernment to share what God shows me about His Word. I’ve struggled with this for a long time as a Christian, and I pray that i grow as a disciple to be used by God to advance His kingdom. My prayer to evangelize has been primarily focused on my dad, and during this time of trial with my grandpa, I am compelled to speak boldly about God’s Word and the person and work of Jesus. I’m grateful for the call to attend seminary’ it has been helpful in sharing what’s important to me and to show that life in more than the here and now. It’s a great hope that presses on toward the goal heavenward.

I’m also learning to be patient in times of fellowship to be aware of opportunities to present a Scriptural truth. Many times i let them go, and I get angry with myself for being so reticent. May I look to Christ and his gospel. If he is for me who can be against me? Too often I fall prey to a false idol of approval. This becomes an excuse because I value peace keeping rather than peace making. I have a hard time relating to others and find a bah humbug attitude well up within me. I get frustrated with others and really I am mad at myself. This inward self- absorption is detestable. Help me Lord to see You high and lifted up.